Moving in 5 Days!!

Yea, im pretty excited, but at the same time... its going to suck... so no furniture, only a chair and a bookshelf looking thing, a bed and another small shelf, with all my clothes, fabric  (im yet to sew ), tons of books and my kitties of course. 

I guess im really tired of everyone, tired of guys treating me like im a piece of trash they stick in there pocket and forget about it until they wash them. Its the best way I can describe how i feel. Im glad I have my kitties to keep me company, they are everything to me. 

I wish i could get a job tho... its soooo damn hard!! DX... someone please help! anyways, i thought i would write a quick update. so ill talk to you all laters.


<3 Kamie

Untitled...

Well, In about a week or so, Ill be moving on my own, with no one. Not even Nick, I'm so glad. I'm tired of everything and everyone. Today I got hurt again... I keep wondering when I wont get hurt any more.... but anyways, Rob was suppose to show up today so we can meet the first time but he got cold feet and decided not to come. I don't know why either. Ive been wanting to cry for a few hours now. I've been holding them back. I guess that I'm not good enough for anyone, not even Rob. I give up now, I'm just hurt. I'll get over it and move on. I know its been awhile since I've wrote last. Its not like anyone reads these any way.  
We've had a lot of rain lately. It's nice to see it. its been really humid as well. I just wanted to write a little before I go to bed.. (Not really tired) 


See ya.


Kamie

Hi Again.

I know I havent wrote in awhile. Things are complicated as always, but there are some good and bad news. 
Good News:
     I got my taxes back finally. 
     I sold my Ipod for quite a lot of money.
Bad News: 
      I might have to move out of the house because I might not get it. 
      Its hard to find a place for rent when everyone wants to sell.


so yea. I havent really seen Nick much these days. I really miss him. IDK why. I guess I miss laying next to him because he makes me feel safe. 


On the contray, Me and Rob never talk as because we officially have had our first fight even tho we aren't even together. I kinda don't really care if he doesn't, there is a lot of people who have left me and its not a big deal. Hes always too busy doing something or another and he really expects me to wait. 


But anyways, I told to Mark today, it was nice i haven't spoke to him for awhile. He makes me smile because i know hes there for me if i needed it (well i hope hes there for me) hes a good guy and i wish he didnt get hurt by stupid stupid girls.


anyways, i thought i write a quick update. 


<3 always
Kamie

Things are changing fast....

Yup Yup. Currently things have not really been going well for me. As well as you all know, im living in something thats hard to get out of. I dont ask for much and its just getting more complicated. Tonight, nick kicked me out of his room into the other room and moved the twin bed into here. which sucks balls because the sun beats in, in the morning. He told me hes tired of being accused as an asshole, which he is. Hes a lazy fucker who cant get up and find a job or work with his brother? He cant help me with anything around the house, meaning
    1. Do the Dishes
    2. Clean the litter box
    3. Buy food
    4. Buy kitty food
    6. Pay the Bills. 


yea.. I can go on and on. I wish that I could really figure out what to do next. I think I had a dream about this whole situation. I cant remember tho. I wish I had Sewing Machine, Sewing Things (Scissors, Rotary Cutters, Mats, Table ect.) I really want to start sewing again. Maybe making a few extra dollars or even making enough to pay my bills. Another thing, the landlady wants to sell the house, but its been on the market tho but she wants to add it to the paper, I can buy the house for 10K and I wish I had 10k to do so. I got her to take 3k off of the house. Im stressing out about everything again. I want to be happy, I want to actually live somewhere for once. I want to be able to say "hey this is my house and welcome" I want someone to love me for who I am, help me take care of things, Take care of me. Its just so much harder when you only have your mother or father to help you, mostly my mother who cant even really afford her own rent on top of mine but thats why mothers are for, right? 


I was planning on moving back to California, the place I dont want to go back too, I have 3 kittens, who I could never give up, I love them too much and I hope they understand that. I try and spend as much time as I can with them before they drive me nuts. lol. I wish I could see my future in a little more depth. more vivid. more happiness in my future. Remember im only 23 years old, and everyone tells me im too young, yea i might be young but ive been through a lot. which has made me stronger in a way, i feel very weak, very unreliable. very childish. 


but im going to go, i just wanted to up date. Sorry i havent wrote too much.


<3 Kamie