Things are changing fast....

Yup Yup. Currently things have not really been going well for me. As well as you all know, im living in something thats hard to get out of. I dont ask for much and its just getting more complicated. Tonight, nick kicked me out of his room into the other room and moved the twin bed into here. which sucks balls because the sun beats in, in the morning. He told me hes tired of being accused as an asshole, which he is. Hes a lazy fucker who cant get up and find a job or work with his brother? He cant help me with anything around the house, meaning
    1. Do the Dishes
    2. Clean the litter box
    3. Buy food
    4. Buy kitty food
    6. Pay the Bills. 


yea.. I can go on and on. I wish that I could really figure out what to do next. I think I had a dream about this whole situation. I cant remember tho. I wish I had Sewing Machine, Sewing Things (Scissors, Rotary Cutters, Mats, Table ect.) I really want to start sewing again. Maybe making a few extra dollars or even making enough to pay my bills. Another thing, the landlady wants to sell the house, but its been on the market tho but she wants to add it to the paper, I can buy the house for 10K and I wish I had 10k to do so. I got her to take 3k off of the house. Im stressing out about everything again. I want to be happy, I want to actually live somewhere for once. I want to be able to say "hey this is my house and welcome" I want someone to love me for who I am, help me take care of things, Take care of me. Its just so much harder when you only have your mother or father to help you, mostly my mother who cant even really afford her own rent on top of mine but thats why mothers are for, right? 


I was planning on moving back to California, the place I dont want to go back too, I have 3 kittens, who I could never give up, I love them too much and I hope they understand that. I try and spend as much time as I can with them before they drive me nuts. lol. I wish I could see my future in a little more depth. more vivid. more happiness in my future. Remember im only 23 years old, and everyone tells me im too young, yea i might be young but ive been through a lot. which has made me stronger in a way, i feel very weak, very unreliable. very childish. 


but im going to go, i just wanted to up date. Sorry i havent wrote too much.


<3 Kamie